Jesus, King of My Sexuality

What does it mean to be a eunuch? Dan (pseudonym) and I had already done the Who is Jesus? Study together and it had been a while sense we had continued learning about Jesus, following Him together as the text unfolded before us. It was one day where he asked me the question about being a eunuch. After unpacking this a bit with my friend Dan, I mentioned the Ethiopian Eunuch that Phillip was Spirit-led to reap (Acts 8:26-40) and how we need help along the way to understand Scripture. Then he asked me about a passage he heard someone used in his past as they discussed homosexuality and the life of a eunuch during a sermon. So, we began to read in Matthew 19:1-12 where Jesus shares about eunuchs. We saw that he had mentioned that not only were some born eunuchs, but some actually chose to be “eunuchs for the kingdom of God”. I didn’t press hard on the issue then, as I had felt the Lord challenge me to be a bit cautious with my friend, a guy who had once contemplated suicide and battled severe depression. I was concerned for his mental well being and we continued meeting up, but it came to a point months later where I invited him to deeper relationship with God, but first there was a moment of honesty about homosexuality as sin.

I had never told Dan that I believed that homosexuality was sin and he had never confessed to me previously that he was unwilling to give up having sex with men. But there was a day where we became more honest with one another. We shared, and after a moment of pending rejection during our sharing, but instead of rejection, we sighed after realizing that we still wanted to be friends. I remember our exchange where we asked if we would still be one another’s friend? We both said of course and thus were relieved. Life went on together, until one monumental call was put on Dan in desperation that he needed more of God in his mental health and needed to know unconditional love as demonstrated on the Cross. It was a day where I preached the Gospel to him, the same day where he would make Jesus the King of his sexuality.

On this day Dan was at another low in his life, limping along in positive mindedness (he has grown through therapy and such), but still not living a vibrant life. We met to continue our study in Mark’s Gospel and it was that day where I shared the Gospel and challenged him to receive God’s love as a rebel sinner, the true mark of just how unconditional loving God is. I invited him to surrender his life to Jesus and he started to. We prayed and he felt God’s presence come upon him, he enjoyed the beauty of God’s touch, something he had felt before. I sensed God whisper to me that I should challenge him to surrender his sexuality and so, I did. I asked him, “do you want to make Jesus the King of your sexuality?” He pondered, he probed what that meant, and he pondered some more as we sat at a bench in Balboa Park. He looked and saw a bunch of balloons stuck in the tree. He told me he felt stuck and I assume that God was showing him something about his life in that moment. He sat, he pondered and he eventually said yes to surrendering to his sexuality to Jesus’ lordship.

What an amazing call to follow Jesus, this guy heard and chose. I don’t think that most people would realize the call and difficulty of this attempt at following Jesus. Culture, largely doesn’t support honest recognition of one’s sexuality, while choosing it’s denial. Heterosexual followers of Jesus, longing to get married, would struggle to make Jesus King of their sexuality. It is such a tough thing, but the ways of Jesus are better. Life with Jesus is better. On May 10^th, 2016 my friend chose to walk out this difficult path, with hope, headed for a better life with Jesus.