A New child of God: David's Story

                I met David walking the streets of Hillcrest and praying for the neighborhood. We started a small conversation and eventually it led to me praying for his friend who he was visiting in the hospital. He let me and I explained that I had moved to Hillcrest because the Church has done a bad job reaching the LGBT with the message and hope we have. We ended up arranging some time to hang out and share our stories. Thus began my relationship with this guy.

Over the next 6 months we began to hang out more and delve into many aspects of our lives, including spirituality. David started studying the Bible with me, even though he had never read it since his confirmation in his teens and now 48. He came to some of our dinner parties. We played games, ate good food, and laughed. Though, we started a new friendship it often seemed like he was veering away from me. I thought it was because we were pretty upfront about our faith, maybe too upfront at times. Yet, at the same time, it seemed that God was tugging on his heart and I’d like to share one example of this.

In one of those times where David was veering in our friendship, God gave him a dream and showed me He was tying David to me. I hadn’t spoken with him for several weeks at this point when I learned of the dream. It was Saturday and I was on a mission to get a plunger of all things.  Unexpectedly, I ran in to him at the place I volunteer at in Hillcrest. He then told me that he was considering what it would be like to follow Jesus and that he had had some sort of dream that when he woke up from it, he would say, “Patrick!” and throw his hands in the air. I didn’t really know what was going on but I was excited because God was doing things I could never do. Later on I found out that in his dream, I was there. I handed him a book with a picture of a person blind folded and chained. He handed it back to me and I asked him if he had had enough yet. I already knew that this man suffered for many years (30 years with HIV, several rounds of cancer, 12 near deaths according to him, living on the streets) and it has become more clear how much he suffered and how God wanted to give him sight and freedom. We started meeting up again after that and the day came recently where he finally decided to follow Jesus.

One morning, I received a call from David and I found out that he needed a ride to the emergency room to get treated for severe anemia. On the way to the hospital and even before, I had been realizing that David may be near the end of his life and he didn’t know Jesus. Many people had been praying for this guy and for me to be bold in sharing the good news of King Jesus. So, I started talking with him again about what was stopping him from following Jesus. As we rolled up to the loading zone at the hospital, it seemed he gave in and told me “I want what you have.” He wanted Jesus and in tears he started to yield what had been holding him back in his life, his ability to control his own life. I led him through a brief prayer and asked God to seal him as His child. When I asked him earlier he had said that he was afraid about going to the hospital. After we prayed, he said he felt no fear but peace.

Needless to say, many people were rejoicing with the angels that day. David is just starting his journey following Jesus and really neither of us know all that that means. All i know is that we are both headed for Him.

The Kingdom of God is Near

I went to the house of a high potential LGBT background Christian to do the 3^rd study of part 1 of the “Who is Jesus? Study”. He had a really sore back. We prayed, in the name of Jesus and invited the Kingdom of God to come, and it did. It was only after some time of reflection that I realized how significant this moment was, not only the healing but the timing and surrounding circumstances.

It was a few weeks earlier where I was sharing about the vision God gave me to spread His word all over Hillcrest and see what grows and this same guy grabbed on to that vision in a big way. I shared how we wanted to see the “Who is Jesus?” study pop up all over the place just like Jesus described in the Parable of the Sower (Mark 4:1-20). The next week or so after sharing about that parable, he came to our monthly Hillcrest prayer meeting. Esther prayed for him and said she saw a multiplication sign over him. After she prayed, he then told us that earlier that morning he had been praying and asking God to make him the soil that would bear crop a hundred times what was sown. Esther and I were stoked for this man who had such a long journey of surrender to God, and was now in a place of hunger and desire to see his own life used in a huge way.

This potential leader in our effort to reach the lost LGBT was hungry not in word only but in action. Since the time we started to hang with him, he started tithing fully to his church, he started waking up early to pray and be with God, he started attending all we were doing, and he even was confessing his desire for Jesus above all other lovers. As you can see, he was and is going after God and this is the posture wherein God met him in an other worldly, Kingdom way.

So, then came the night of his healing, the night he and I both experienced the reality of the nearness of the Kingdom of God. This particular night, the night of our Bible Study his back was extremely sore from moving people’s stuff and also from awkwardly twisting it at work. He was so sore that he didn’t even want to join me to study at the coffee table for the fear of pain and not being able to get back up from the ground. With very weak faith, I suggested we should pray and he agreed. So we prayed and he believed God, even testing it and moving to the floor where he was once worried he wouldn’t have been able to get up. Throughout the short prayer, the words that kept coming up to me were: the kingdom of God is near. I kept repeating that to him. He not only sat on the floor, but got up with less pain and the next day he told me his back was feeling great.

This first message of Jesus as recorded in the Gospels (Mark 1:15) became more real to us than it had perhaps ever been. In this place I realized what God might be doing. I saw that God was preparing these guys to see the evidence of what they may one day be sharing in Hillcrest: the Kingdom is near. I was and am super encouraged by the faithfulness of God. He is meeting us here in Hillcrest and though we haven’t seen huge and rumbling revival on a broad scale, we are starting to see the first fruits; namely, a small group of people with encouraged and hungry hearts. Hearts, that are realizing the Kingdom of God is near, Jesus is near and His reign and rule is accessible to us today, just as it was for the 72 when Jesus told them then to “Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you.’” (Luke 10:9)

Yet, the Kingdom only becomes good news for the select few who realize the character of the One enthroned, what He stands for, what He has done, and what is their destiny. If you think of us, remember the name of the blog and pray that His name would be lifted high in Hillcrest and His Kingdom would come. Your prayers are a huge part in why we are seeing the Kingdom a new.

Building Authentic Relationships: Volunteering

It is so true that people see right through agendas we have and they feel the pain when our agendas are selfish. I have known for a while that reaching the LGBT people with the Good News of Jesus and His coming Kingdom would be done through building authentic relationships. The way to do this, is to not have an unrighteous agenda (self-centered, twisted, violent, other stuff) in reaching people. At the same time, let’s face that we all have some sort of reason to be in relationship. My reason is that some might be saved through my life, but I am realizing more and more that we need to build authentically loving relationships with people who don’t know Jesus in order to bless them.

HIV/AIDS, a Cause Worthy of our Attention

So, how are we building authentic relationships with LGBT background people in Hillcrest? I’m glad you care. We are doing several things but one of them is volunteering in places where both the LGBT community and God care deeply about. Yep, there are causes in the LGBT community that they care deeply about and God is zealous in seeing it accomplished. I found one. HIV, the virus that causes AIDS has turned into a global pandemic. At one point, it was thought that it was only limited to the LGBT community and was therefore called GRIDS (gay related immune deficiency syndrome) as opposed to AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome). We have learned that HIV/AIDS is not limited to the gay population, though there are many affected. It can be transmitted in many ways and occurs in heterosexual people as well (in fact, sex is a means of transmission but it really comes down to an infected person exchanging select body fluids with another, even iv drug users fit this). As can be imagined, there was in the past (and I am finding still today) a bunch of fear and shame and violence directed towards the LGBT, which further stigmatized an already socially out casted group.

                How does God feel about the disease, killing people since it started to spread across the globe? It seems to me the Old Testament Prophet Ezekiel, has the insight we need to remember: “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? Declares the Sovereign Lord, Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live” (Ezekiel 18:23 NIV). Another passage shows the same aspect of God’s heart in a different way: “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!” (Ezekiel 18:32). God is merciful and doesn’t like death, even death of the wicked/unrighteous/evil/rebellious (like I've been). He doesn’t want anyone to die but that all people have eternal life with Him.

So now you know how we plan to build authentic relationships by supporting a cause God and LGBT people care about. We are helping with a local non-profit that is only a 5 min walk from our home in Hillcrest. This non-profit is called Being Alive. I love the title, don’t you?

Confirmation, Being Alive is the Spot

I’d like to share how I came to originally start helping out at Being Alive and how I know we are supposed to invest time and energy serving Jesus here.

Originally, I knew that I didn’t want to just volunteer in any way because I was cautious on what causes I wanted to give my time to (I am getting shifted a bit on this too by the way). One day I was researching places to volunteer and I found Being Alive and noticed it was right by my house. Later during a prayer walk, I met a guy from the Community who I later started to build a friendship with and he mentioned to me that he actually spent some of his time volunteering at Being Alive!  So, I was interested and eventually went to check out the place.

When I first visited the Organization, there were all kinds of interesting folks filling the office. I knew I was in a whole different world than I had been in before when I started interacting with the people there. One person in the office directed me to see a supervisor there who was in charge of the food pantry and moving HIV+ San Diegans. When I met him, one of the first questions he asked me was if I had a pick up. I said, yeeaah. In my mind, I was like, ok Lord, this is a good sign I am supposed to be here. I’m listening. I don’t remember quite, but I believe the next time that I went to the building I saw yet another sign. It was a painting of Jesus wearing the crown of thorns and He was looking up at the crown on His head with tears in His eyes. Today, I still shudder as I think of that painting and remember the merciful heart of God for all people, even LGBT people infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

Some Last Thoughts Describing How God has Been Connecting Me to People through Volunteering

It is here, for the past 5 or 6 months, that I have been building relationships by serving people in their felt needs. I’ve been moving people, picking up recyclables (as you read in my last post), and ultimately meeting people right where they are at. I’ve prayed for more people than I can remember right now, and to my surprise many have cried, been thankful and seemed to know Jesus or of Him. I’ve been introduced to people throughout a network of LGBT non-profits and businesses. I’ve met people who in the short time I’ve known them have died. I have met people twisting the word of God to justify themselves. I have seen people struggling with concepts from the Bible and their sexuality. I have seen the brokenness of many lives.  

I’ve began the long work of building relationships, building trust, and asking God to break my heart and to remind me of the crazy amount of mercy He has given me. All this so that I can be a part of Jesus showing LGBT people His heart.

Time is Short

It was a Tuesday morning and I was making my recycling rounds for Being Alive San Diego, a non-profit that serves people who are HIV+. I was on my normal route in the North Park area and didn’t really think the day would be all that different, but I was wrong.

I stopped at one location where I had gotten to know a few of the people there including the Treasurer of this non-profit in North Park. This place seeks to help HIV+ people and the homeless as well. They have a thrift store and even offer laundry facilities. It was right after Christmas and I hadn’t been for a couple weeks when I went that day. I ran in to one of the leads and asked him how he was doing. I found that he was mourning for the Treasurer. The Treasurer of the non-profit had passed away over the holiday seasons. I hadn’t seen the Treasurer in 2 weeks. He was a guy I had several seemingly trivial conversations with but now he was gone. I would never talk with him again. My heart sank as the weight of the reality of his death set in on me.

That non-profit would often be identified to me as somewhat of a burden, a task I unfortunately had to bear with little seeming evidence that this is where the Lord wanted me to be especially since I was looking to reach LGBT in Hillcrest. Some of the marked memories of this place are that of a trash can full of rotting orange juice in Recyclables that would sometimes make me want to vomit. But I knew it helped me be a blessing to Being Alive, even though it probably only made about $6.50 for the org. every other week. Another set of memories were etched in to my mind after having washed out this trashcan for them. In order to wash out the trash can, I would go into their bathroom and immediately notice the enormous quantity of naked pictures of men plastered on the bathroom walls. This place was one I had mixed senses that the Lord was doing something and quite often I busily rushed out of there. But when I realized this person I had been talking with only some short time ago passed away, my heart sunk and I felt guilty. I felt guilty I had only shared seemingly trivial small talk with him and never got to share the love of God, exemplified in the Jesus.

There was a mix of emotions swirling around me that day but I found a renewed urge to not waste time. I met another customer of the stinky trash canned, pornographically ladened bathroom, North Park non-profit and had a deeper talk with him. Honestly, I was surprised how he talked about God and his trust in him. At this point of realization that time is short, I realized that one of the people I knew in the Community needed a wake up call; it was the very person who sends me to get recyclables. This person has always seemed to me to be a person of peace and a big reason I was meant to work with Being Alive specifically. I had already known he is a Christian but I had realized he seemed like a Lot (Genesis anybody) because although I could tell he was a good influence in that place, he seemed compromised. I went back to the Being Alive headquarters and began to tell him about time being short and how I realized this more that day. We had a long and deep discussion. Although he knew he was in compromise and he cared, I struggled to know where to lead him and felt the message, given to me that day, was lost. I was hoping he would finally say yes to learning more about Jesus with me and bringing the Good News to more around him, to all those people he was helping every day. He knew Jesus, but he didn’t seem to want to know Him more or to give Him away. Regardless of whether he heard the message, I have.

Jesus said, “The Kingdom is near, repent and believe the good news.” Do we believe Him? To what level are we willing to align our lives with this truth? Time is short and are we prepared to enter that Kingdom? Have we done all we can to reach every lost people group with the message of repentance and the forgiveness of sins in Jesus? Time is short. Our bridegroom is coming.

My Journey to Hillcrest

Hello to all the beloved family reading the blog and rooting for my husband, Patrick. I cannot tell you how important your encouragement has been for him-so in turn, for me as well. Patrick asked me to guest blog and write about how I ended up here. I think it is safe to start off by saying that I am no brave person or visionary and that the only reason I ended up in Hillcrest was b/c of God’s prompting or should I saw many promptings.

I had always been the hesitant one deciding to move here and especially during our first year of marriage I did not feel so ready (to be fair though, I am one that is usually slow to “feel ready”). I had submitted my worries and concerns to both Patrick and the Lord and still did not have confirmation until one fine day on the couch. Both Patrick and I were worshiping and waiting on the Lord when I saw a picture of a crescent moon above the red Hillcrest city sign. I then saw tons of crescent moons everywhere in the vision. I quickly dismissed this as flesh. But the vision kept reappearing and I heard the Lord say very clearly “You will crest me in Hillcrest.” I still dismissed this as my own flesh and even talked back to God and said “God, you aren’t even grammatically correct!” Actually, I was so wrong! The word crest can be used as a verb and it can mean “to crown.” I literally had to look up the word in the dictionary multiple times to ensure my skepticism/ignorance. The Lord was telling me through this prophetic vision that I was go and crown him in a place where he wasn’t crowned as king in a loving, very non-threatening, anti-sign-holding way.

The Lord slowly began to show me in other ways the urgency of going to a land filled with broken souls and people who feel different or lonely. He reminded me that this was also my opportunity and privilege to be a “Ruth” to “Naomi” by following my husband in his ministry. I knew that I could offer my humble service by: following him, hosting people, cooking meals for the hungry, praying and interceding, befriending people, and telling my own story of healing and journey to freedom.

The Lord reminded me also of how I constantly drew rainbows as a little girl and how my mama received thousands of pictures of rainbows that I drew for her. The Lord said to me that I have been drawn to the rainbow and the people it represents even as a little girl. As many of you know, God really speaks to me in symbols and this was him yet again revealing how he used the rainbow symbol my whole life. I obviously want people to understand the real meaning of the rainbow which is His everlasting covenant with us.

 

I also freely admit that I still struggle with the whole “ready” feeling. I am but a mere patched- up girl who deals with fear and questions all the time. I battle with performance issues and doubts and the “what if” questions still but I now have peace knowing that there are friends out here that have felt the touch of Jesus since we have moved here and that I am only following His call to me. Just as God told the prophet Ezekiel ahead of time the warning that not everyone would listen to him, that it would not be easy but to simply obey Him- I want to be like him. Ezekiel’s measure of faith was summed up by his obedience to God, not at how many people would respond to his prophecies.

 I want to end by saying thank you to your responsive faithfulness to God and to us. We would not be able to be here without you.

Who is Jesus?: Our Fishing Lure

Jesus called people to leave their lives and follow Him. He had something that when people met Him, they were in awe of what He said and of what He did. Bodies were healed of deabilitating and alienating disease. Outcasts were brought back in to community. The spiritually oppressed and tortured were set free from dark forces. Jesus' closest followers left everything because He was the one with the words of eternal life. Jesus even claimed the most amazing and radical claim ever made by a human and it is completely true. That claim is found in John 14:9a as Jesus said "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been with you such a long time? Any one who has seen me has seen the Father." It is in this simple, yet profound, statement that Jesus explicitly explains that He is God. In fact, He is claiming if you hear His words and you see what He is doing, you can see the way Father God is. Woah!!

With this deep and radically encouraging truth in mind, we are inviting people to explore what Jesus did when He was on earth, what He said, how He interacted with people, how He gave His life to the mission of His Father, and where He is this very day.

We have been inviting people to study this question with us and read the text. So far we have two people engaging this question with us as they themselves read the text. Both of them have very little to no experience reading the text and would identify themselves in the LGBTQ community. They are in fact, very open, to reading the text. One woman studying with us said after the first study of the opening line of the gospel of Mark, "I like that".

What would it be like for more Bridge Builders to do this study with people? I bet people would leave everything just like His first disciples.

The Bridge: Doing the Impossible Thing

A story of our calling to reach the LGBT in Hillcrest.....

Many of you have heard me say that I feel called to build a bridge to the lost in the LGBTQ community. You also probably know that Esther and I moved to Hillcrest to do this very thing. But you may not know why the bridge became a large symbol in my calling to reach the lost and how this relates to Hillcrest, so I thought I’d share the story.

It was in the beginning of 2011 where I came to the place of surrendering the final thing I was holding onto in my life, my career. I was working at Trader Joe’s and felt the Lord call me to quit because I wasn’t living my value system. I was working 3 jobs and highly focused on paying off my debts (not a bad thing in of itself, but I don’t believe neglecting community or calling is worth that). So, I was thinking about quitting, knowing I would be leaving my summer job and a measure of security. Basically, I was considering leaving to finally search out what God wanted me to do with my life. I remember thinking, here is my life God where do you want me to go? Do I start an LGBTQ group at my church, pursue a Master’s in Biology to teach, join Intervarsity staff, start a medical professional school, or go to seminary? I remember taking several months to pray about what I was going to do long term for Jesus. So, I took a jump. I quit my TJ s job and said I wouldn’t be coming back to UCSD for the following school year to TA. Instead, I started pressing in to IV staff applications and exploring how I was going to seek Jesus’ Kingdom as a first priority (Mathew 6:33). Through a kaleidoscope of different choices, I ended up being led to go back to the campus to see people reached with the gospel of Jesus Christ. That period of time trying to figure out how I would give my life to Jesus for the long term was a slow decision making process and in it is where God spoke to me through a dream. This dream has begun to resound even now in this next chapter after the campus.

One night, I dreamt I was standing on a bridge surrounded by people in trader Joe’s uniforms. I remember thinking how strange this was because I hadn’t worked at Trader Joe’s for several months at this point. I didn’t have any idea what this would mean later and how this bridge would tie in to reality so I just filed this away as a strange dream. Later that summer, as I was looking for work I would be reminded of this dream and see the Living God interacting with me again.

It was the end of summer in 2011 and I was accepted as a provisional employee with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, but I would need to fundraise around $18000 to even get my first pay check and be formally accepted as a staff worker. Even more, my bank account was nearing empty. I needed a job, and I needed a job fast. So, I thought maybe Trader Joe’s would take me back. I was turned down at my old store but I found another one in the area on University. I didn’t realize this one was in Hillcrest but the employee on the phone got me excited about the potential of a job at the store. I told him I was an employee in the past and although they weren’t hiring, he told me they are always look for quality applicants. I filled out an application and headed out to turn in my application there that same day. So, I am driving down into the area and I realize the store was actually in Hillcrest. As I pull into the parking lot and find the store, I see this bridge right behind the store and it looks exactly like the bridge in my dream. I was immediately ecstatic and thinking I have a job coming pretty quick (as a side note, this was a time in my life where the Lord was speaking to me through prophetic dreams and so I was extra enthusiastic and excited). Naturally, one of the first things I do is check out this bridge.

On the bridge I noticed many quirks about it including one quote that has especially inspired me. On the bridge are so many different quotes from eastern and western philosophers, from social justice heroes like Martin Luther King and Eleanor Roosevelt, and even definitions of the word, bridge. It has been Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote that has struck me and challenged me. It reads, “You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.” At that time, I thought there was a certain depth to that quote but I had no faculty to understand it, so I just left that bridge to go turn my application in. I was still full of excitement because I thought I was getting a job certain that God was in this and gonna make it happen. Furthermore, I believed and believe still it would be a great way to interact with people from Hillcrest and build relationships with them in hopes to share the gospel. Yet, God never gave me that job there. I turned in an application then and followed up every week for about 2 months and I even turned in an application 2 years later when my wife and I moved into the area for the first time. I just recently received a letter from them saying they are choosing to pursue other candidates. I believe God is telling me something more than the bridge is meant to mark a stream of financial provision at one of my favorite stores.

 

God has used this bridge as a point of encouragement for me. He has encouraged me both through providing an apartment right next to this bridge in Hillcrest and also through how I perceive He is speaking to Esther and I through the symbolism and Roosevelt quote on the Bridge.

When Esther and I were looking and praying for our first place we were still deciding if we were going to live and do ministry in Hillcrest in our first year of marriage. What we received back were confirmations from the Lord that He wanted us in Hillcrest. Although there are several I just want to share a couple here. First, we have seen financial provision in our new place. Our current landlord gave us 9 days in our new place for free and even brought our deposit down a couple hundred dollars. We really like our new place which also has several things we prayed for like storage, key appliances, and parking. Second, we see the Lord connecting us to neighbors who we believe He wants us to be in relationship with to share His love.

The Lord has also used the bridge to speak into this journey of building a bridge to the LGBTQ community. The Eleanor Roosevelt quote has been challenging and encouraging me to do the thing I think I cannot do. I think that “thing” is the impossible task of reaching LGBTQ identifying people with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The task of inviting people into community with Jesus and His followers is no small thing (just ask the leaders of the once flourishing and now obsolete Exodus International. Once, the biggest ministry of the Body of Christ who were reaching out to those in the LGBTQ community and training the church). What I am coming to see is that the formidability of this task is multi-faceted. Here are some of the barriers and audacious goals of ours:

1. I see that we need a large amount of people to build this bridge to the LGBTQ people.
2. We need to not compromise the truth of homosexuality as sin.
3. We need to offer the LGBTQ community the same opportunity to follow Jesus imperfectly, just like every other believer or seeker.
4. People in the community are going to have to encounter Jesus in order to leave their community, which perhaps is the first place they ever have felt they belonged.
5. The church is dividing over the issue and fairly ineffective at this point at sharing the full gospel of Jesus and His Kingdom.

If ever there was an impossible task, it could be reaching out to the LGBTQ people and seeing them lay down their lives here for better lives with Jesus. If you don’t see how formidable and seemingly impossible this task is, then I would say, do your research. If you do see how formidable this task is, then take heart. Jesus said, “…with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Mathew 19:26)   and he was challenging His disciples doubt about the inability to see the salvation of the rich.

God has called Esther and I to do the thing we think we cannot do. We actually could never do this without Jesus, Holy Spirit, Abba and also the Body. He has called us to fully yield and rely on Him and that is what we are seeking to continually do. With the help of God’s leadership, guidance, power, and His people we are going to do the impossible. God-willing, we are going to build this bridge.