Seeing more of the bridge: An Integrated Life….

How does the Church reach the LGBT community when the gap between us seems so wide? The culture roots for them to be authentically themselves, the Church is confused at best as to what life could be for them in Christ. And at worst, sections of the Church can be completely uninterested in them being in Christ. I have thought for a while that there are 2 camps with a large gap between them. Namely, the 2 camps are the Community and the Church. The task of this outreach is to help the LGBTQ people connect to God, but what does that really mean? Recently, I think I have seen the firm landing of an individual from the community into Christ and it wasn’t because of a recent conversion. We haven’t had one since David and Tim, the latter is the one who recommitted his life but seems shaky in his connection to Jesus still. I am starting to see more of the entire bridge and this is because I just saw someone live honestly in the Christian community, in light of their past and current needs.

Bob (a pseudonym) was once doing the Who is Jesus? Study with me, but stopped after I challenged him to share with one person he trusted at his current church. After I left him one day after our time together, our entire relationship seemed to come to a screeching halt. To understand the challenge faced by Bob, you have to understand the background story behind is journey with church.

Years prior, Bob had attended a church that completely embarrassed him and I believe, wronged him, in a very public way. One day his pastor stood up to publicly discipline Bob for some deep struggles in Bob’s life. While I don’t know the full extent of this, his sharing dealt with a drug addiction and a homosexual life. Needless to say, Bob’s relationship with this pastor and church eroded quickly. Since that time he was burned while living an integrated life, he had been unable to share his story in the new church where he had already been for 2 years. He was, in fact, not only part of the church but he was running a ministry, taking in destitute people he met on the streets, and a number of other radical things for God. He was vibrantly (and is) in love with God and thankful for the forgiveness he had received in the sacrifice of the Son. Yet, no one really knew him. He wasn’t living an integrated life where people knew his story and loved him along his journey.

It was only recently that I ran into Bob on the streets in Hillcrest, he mentioned that he had finally shared his story with his church and that he was going through great trials in his life. He mentioned that he had been recently diagnosed with cancer and lost a lot of weight after having surgery that hindered his ability to eat. He confessed he left the church for a while, but when he came back he shared his story with a trusted friend. After he shared, he told me that the pastors of the church came around him and expressed their love for him. As I saw the beauty of a reconciled community member, I knew more of what we were meant to do here in Hillcrest and with the LGBTQ.

It is not easy and not all the way clear, but we want people to have an authentic walk with Christ. That means to really be a renewed and regenerated person, with a new connection to God. But it still means, being a person. A person has a history and they have a present, both of which are often not so pretty. People live an integrated life in Christ, when in spite and in the midst of their humanity, they are surrendered to Jesus and nestled deeply in a loving community of Believers. This is the destiny for an LGBT person who accepts the call of Jesus.

My New Position with HRC: Faith co-Chair

One of the people God brought in our path is definitely a person of peace (Luke 10:5-6), as she invited me to be her co-chair at HRC (Human Rights Campaign). When I attended my first meeting, I was blown away at the manner that the twenty or so people worked together. The main leader told me that HRC is actually the biggest lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender organization in the city of San Diego and that this gathering consisted of somewhat prominent leaders within their San Diego branch. As I sat at the table I was not only struck by the diversity of the group, but also at the unity that they showed in supporting one another.

            In attendance were people from different areas of the Community (the general term the LGBT use for themselves). There were diverse gendered people, varied ethnicities, individuals representing different socio-economic backgrounds, and also a wide range of age groups. And despite the diversity, it was a commonality that they shared which brought them into deep unity in mission and purpose. One co-chair would share what they were doing and share needs they had, while many others would fill the needed positions without even seeming like they were put out by the request. They actually signed up with enthusiasm. I reflected at that point that the one unifying factor was their desire for the rights of their people, which caused them to work in deep unity even more so than what I have experienced in the Church. In one sense it was beautiful, but in another it was frightening. The beauty was their corporate unity. The aspect that brought fear in me was the level of deception that I knew lurked in their desires to bring full equality for the LGBT people. Their mission is summed as this, “HRC envisions a world where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are embraced as full members of society at home, at work and in every community.” So where do I fit in in all this?

All I know is God brought me to a place to seek and save the lost. While doing that, a person who has been open and has been attending our events has welcomed me in and now I am a co-chair this year for the faith-outreach portion of their organization. Is it controversial? Yes, a bit. Yet, I believe God is opening up forums for discussion and also to meet with LGBT leaders in the Community. In fact, my first night at their meeting I was able to ask a married lesbian woman about her spiritual background. She stated she went to a Catholic church as a child, but found they didn’t have anything for her there. To my surprise she shared that she would be taking her daughter, as she grew older, to different religious gatherings so that she could choose which, if any, she would want to be a part of. This was my first spiritual conversation through HRC and they know I am a Christian desiring to be a Pastor. This experience caused me to feel on a small scale like a mini Paul on the verge of meetings at the Areopagus (see Acts 17), hopefully prepared and emboldened to share Jesus, so that they may turn to Him and find true freedom.

            While they are united in their odd fit into the LGBT community and seeking LGBT rights (gay marriage, for example), I am even more inspired by what God has done through the Son and the people He has formed through His precious blood and the depth of unity God has for His people. I want to out community the LGBT community, but I tell you, it won’t be easy. Even more, I want to reach them with the Gospel.

Laura, Our Transgender Friend Hits the Bottom

A symbol for transgender people

I was working at our dining room table that overlooks Washington Street when I heard a knock on the door. By the time I had got to the door, the person had already gone and I looked back out the window to see 2 men and my friend Laura. I went out to see what the commotion was about.

When I got down to see them, my friend asked me to take her (she identifies herself as a female though she was born a male)  and her friends to the recycling center across town, the only one that was open. I was a bit hesitant because as I looked at the guys she was with, it was obvious that they were some of the homeless types who usually sleep in the canyons near our apartment. I didn’t know if they would attack me as I drove or something else. Yeah, I had some fear come up, and perhaps it was healthy. But, as I spoke with her and because I had known her for half a year, I believed I could trust her. And so we loaded up my truck and the three of us set off for the North Park recycling center.

 

While waiting for the line to go down, Laura and I had a chat that showed her ill state. She shared with me how she had been sleeping in the canyons for the past several days and had relapsed back in to her meth habit. She had been living with one of the guys and she had just spent the night collecting their recycles to get some cash. He had admitted the money from the recycleables were to help his drug habit, while she said she just needed some money. The tension between them was a bit ripe as they waited for their money from the recycles. After hearing of her past several days, I bought some lunch for her and tried to convince her to go back to her program-based housing.

As the conversation continued, her mental illness, the effects of the drugs, and her sleep deprived state became so obvious. I could tell she was in a really bad place. She started sharing about suicide by cop. I found out what that meant as she described how she wanted to die and would try to use the threat of violence to cause law enforcement to react. She kept saying, “they are coming after me” and that “the police have been told that I am selling drugs, but I am not” and also that “her family was going to disown her if they found out about some of this stuff”. I even learned she was so paranoid and in the dark, that she had a knife on her for protection and she was threatening to use it on the supposed law enforcement coming after her. I encouraged her to surrender her weapon to me.

Laura ended up saying yes to going back to her group housing and so I took her home and dropped her off. It was a week or so later that I heard that after brief stints back on the streets, she moved out of San Diego to work on her drug rehabilitation. I keep forgetting to take the knife out of my truck. I stashed it under my floor mat, perplexed on how to get rid of it. Yet, it is still there and serves as a reminder of the pain someone, a friend in the community is in. She is why we are here. We are here so that the deeply broken might find the One whose love heals deep scarred wounds.

A Delivered Chad and a Hillcrest Prayer Walk

An Introductory Deliverance Story

Chad had just had deliverance performed. He said of that experience that it brought him more freedom than he has ever experienced in 37 years of life. He told of the hours upon hours of intercession and strange bodily experiences as they were removed from him. It was from this experience, that he was ready to learn how to say, “yes to God as much as possible.”

So, he felt the prompting of the Lord to go on a prayer walk one evening, only days after his radical deliverance experience. The stories from that night made my jaw drop and changed my countenance to absolute joy. In this blog post, I wanted to share a couple stories from Chad’s 5-hour prayer walk. God sent him to encounter people in both Pacific Beach and Hillcrest, but here are a couple stories from our mission field.

The Fruitful Prayer walk

It was about 10 am and Chad had already prayed for several people in PB and was now in Hillcrest as the Lord had led him. He was standing under a local store and asking random passerby’s if they wanted prayer and most people said no. He was told by one of those who said no, that there was a guy who needed prayer in a nearby location and so Chad saw him and went to him to see if he needed prayer.

In the process of being with this guy and praying for him another stranger stood above them, listening to them talk. This new stranger asked Chad if he had some pot. Chad told him he didn’t smoke but shared with him what he did have, the Holy Spirit and a desire to pray for him. Chad found out that this guy was a believer, but he didn’t judge the guy based on his peculiar and mind-numbing request. Rather, Chad realized that this guy was just a broken believer who needed a brother. With deep compassion welling up in his heart (I could discern this as he shared the story), he started praying for this guy and asking God to break off addiction from him.

The stranger was thankful and Chad asked him if he wanted to get coffee together. Chad had left his wallet in his car just to trust the Lord for anything he would need that night. Realizing he didn’t have any money, the guy who received prayer offered all the money he had so that they could get coffee together. He gave all he had on him and perhaps had to his name, $5. This guy felt so loved that he shared the substances that bound him in addiction. He also shared the tough experiences he had had. The pain in this man’s neck and back also became a topic of conversation where Chad saw a chance to bless the guy. So, they prayed and the man was HEALED! They sat and ate and talked for about 3 hours that night.

After this divine encounter with this unexpected host, Chad left him and met 2 more guys. These 2 came up to Chad and asked for money for the bus, but what they left with was not only money for the bus, but also some major heart changes. After they asked Chad for the money, Chad was basically saying to them what he had told everyone, “I am a Christian and I believe the Lord has sent me to pray for you, can I do that?” As the conversation progressed, one of these 2 guys mentioned he was a Christian and the other that he wasn’t. As they talked, Chad boldly asked the one guy if he wanted to become a Christian.

This was a divine appointment and in these God-given open door experiences that only God could orchestrate, this guy said he wanted to ask Jesus to be Lord of his life. His friend made an expression that showed he was in awe of what was taking place as he seemed to say in a quizzical yet joyful way, “Chad?!”

Chad proceeded to try and lead this guy into the Kingdom. He asked him if he was sorrowful regarding his sin and if he was willing to turn away from them. This man agreed to the questions and leading of Chad and he was born again. The stranger became part of the family and Chad wrapped his arm around him and welcomed him in to the family. The friend of this new convert said to Chad, “you have blessed us so much tonight, I have to give you something.” As he rummaged around his bag, he pulled out a pair of sandals and gave Chad his own sandals. Chad remembered what the Lord had told him through the deliverance and it symbolized this moment. Chad felt God told him that he would start to wear new shoes from now on and thanks to this encounter he would.

Some Concluding Thoughts About God’s Ability

This prayer night sounded to me like a narrative from the book of Acts as I listened to Chad share the stories from it. The background of Chad’s deliverance also highlighted for me the power of God to do what I could not (go figure).

            God was showing up in Chad’s life when I was desperate and unable to help Chad. It was amazing to see God move where I could not, bringing deep healing in Chad’s heart and also calling him up to the leader and disciple He is calling Chad to become.

Praise the Lord!

Chad, God Sends us Someone to Equip for Mission

The story of how God sent us our first leader in our Hillcrest Outreach is an amazing one. I met Chad, one day at the front of the auditorium in the school that our (Esther and I) Church meets at. He came up for prayer and I (Patrick) was able to pray for him. At one point, in the midst of our conversation I shared my story and he said that he understood much of what I shared (my normal broken sexuality and identity journey that I share often). Besides my own sharing, he was able to share a bit of his.

I found out that he was out visiting from Michigan trying to figure out why God seemingly was telling him to move to California. He had sort of come out looking for work to start the process of moving out here-even brought a bunch of resumes and references to give to prospective employers. At the end of our prayer time, I was intrigued and knew pretty much right away that God was doing something. We decided to meet for coffee.

It was the morning where our first convert in Hillcrest became a believer that I met up with Chad. I was full of joy and thanksgiving for what God had just done in bringing David into the Kingdom when Chad and I met up. As I shared the news during our time, Chad started to weep and was moved by what God had done in David’s life just that morning. It became apparent as I learned that Chad knew what it was like to be “in the lifestyle” (engaged in homosexuality), for he had been in it for 10 years, but now gave his life to Jesus and proclaimed that this wasn’t his label anymore.

Over the course of our meet up, it became apparent to me that I was in a sense interviewing Chad. It seemed that this guy was a great candidate to intern with us (I didn’t even really know all that this meant at the time) and so I proposed to him that maybe God had brought him out to do ministry in the gay community of Hillcrest. He seemed to be enthusiastic about the idea and it seemed it was then that he made the decision, he would indeed move to San Diego to follow God into a new chapter of his life.

This new chapter is a bit mysterious for both he and I, but the clear sacrifice of Chad’s decision to follow is evident. Several days after “the interview”, Chad left back to Michigan to start the process of transition. To my amazement, he sold or gave away almost all he owned. The furniture, the electronics, the kitchen stuff, and so much more would go, whatever wouldn’t fit in his Ford Escape. He quit a Certified Nursing Job he had been doing. He addressed the issue with family and Church family who were probably baffled by his decision. He left material, bewildered family members, comfort, and so much more because he felt God’s call was clear.

In June of this year, Chad arrived from his long road trip bearing all that he owned in his vehicle. He agreed to a 6 month internship with us and started to learn what the Lord has for him here. I have to say it has been an honor walking with him this past several months. It is our desire to see people like Chad become on fire for Jesus, people who once identified as gay or lesbian and even the transgender people. We want to see people grow deep in love with God and pick up His heart for the LGBT community. 

The Passing of David

It had been a little over the year since I met David while prayer walking the streets of Hillcrest and in a manner of a year, he came to our dinner parties, studied about Jesus from the Bible for the first time in his life, was given a dream from God to pull him near, veered from our friendship several times (reminds me of me when the Lord was tugging on me), we play epic games of scrabble, we shared laughs. As I thought about how David passed away the day after I saw him, I realized I had not lost a personal project, but a friend.

I'm thankful that the Lord led me to see him on the 11th of September because by the next day he had stopped fighting. I have known David as a warrior. He was a long time HIV survivor, contracting it in his teens and hosting it for around 30 years. He endured cancer 3 times. He lived on the streets at 13 years of age. He was one of 5 kids, that should say it all :).

Not only did I know him as a warrior, but I knew him as a curious learner and one who was very compassionate. He once bought 6 sleeping bags to hand out to homeless people when it was cold outside and he had several other stories. He cried with people and he helped them. Sure, he made mistakes but his last great choice was to receive Jesus as his savior and so God as his Father. As some friends and loved ones reminded me, it was timely that we met him when we did. God used us to touch someone He loves, forever.


Here is a small obituary from the place we both volunteered and a pic:

David Anguiano               

  Sept. 8^th, 1965 - Sept. 12^th, 2014

  David was born in SD. Went to Kearny High 

  and went to “Your Life” College. He volunteered

  for several causes.  One of them was “BA-Peer Adv.”

He is now able to join a person he adored- Paul Walker!

All of his friends will miss his Smile and Love for Life