Chad, God Sends us Someone to Equip for Mission

The story of how God sent us our first leader in our Hillcrest Outreach is an amazing one. I met Chad, one day at the front of the auditorium in the school that our (Esther and I) Church meets at. He came up for prayer and I (Patrick) was able to pray for him. At one point, in the midst of our conversation I shared my story and he said that he understood much of what I shared (my normal broken sexuality and identity journey that I share often). Besides my own sharing, he was able to share a bit of his.

I found out that he was out visiting from Michigan trying to figure out why God seemingly was telling him to move to California. He had sort of come out looking for work to start the process of moving out here-even brought a bunch of resumes and references to give to prospective employers. At the end of our prayer time, I was intrigued and knew pretty much right away that God was doing something. We decided to meet for coffee.

It was the morning where our first convert in Hillcrest became a believer that I met up with Chad. I was full of joy and thanksgiving for what God had just done in bringing David into the Kingdom when Chad and I met up. As I shared the news during our time, Chad started to weep and was moved by what God had done in David’s life just that morning. It became apparent as I learned that Chad knew what it was like to be “in the lifestyle” (engaged in homosexuality), for he had been in it for 10 years, but now gave his life to Jesus and proclaimed that this wasn’t his label anymore.

Over the course of our meet up, it became apparent to me that I was in a sense interviewing Chad. It seemed that this guy was a great candidate to intern with us (I didn’t even really know all that this meant at the time) and so I proposed to him that maybe God had brought him out to do ministry in the gay community of Hillcrest. He seemed to be enthusiastic about the idea and it seemed it was then that he made the decision, he would indeed move to San Diego to follow God into a new chapter of his life.

This new chapter is a bit mysterious for both he and I, but the clear sacrifice of Chad’s decision to follow is evident. Several days after “the interview”, Chad left back to Michigan to start the process of transition. To my amazement, he sold or gave away almost all he owned. The furniture, the electronics, the kitchen stuff, and so much more would go, whatever wouldn’t fit in his Ford Escape. He quit a Certified Nursing Job he had been doing. He addressed the issue with family and Church family who were probably baffled by his decision. He left material, bewildered family members, comfort, and so much more because he felt God’s call was clear.

In June of this year, Chad arrived from his long road trip bearing all that he owned in his vehicle. He agreed to a 6 month internship with us and started to learn what the Lord has for him here. I have to say it has been an honor walking with him this past several months. It is our desire to see people like Chad become on fire for Jesus, people who once identified as gay or lesbian and even the transgender people. We want to see people grow deep in love with God and pick up His heart for the LGBT community. 

The Passing of David

It had been a little over the year since I met David while prayer walking the streets of Hillcrest and in a manner of a year, he came to our dinner parties, studied about Jesus from the Bible for the first time in his life, was given a dream from God to pull him near, veered from our friendship several times (reminds me of me when the Lord was tugging on me), we play epic games of scrabble, we shared laughs. As I thought about how David passed away the day after I saw him, I realized I had not lost a personal project, but a friend.

I'm thankful that the Lord led me to see him on the 11th of September because by the next day he had stopped fighting. I have known David as a warrior. He was a long time HIV survivor, contracting it in his teens and hosting it for around 30 years. He endured cancer 3 times. He lived on the streets at 13 years of age. He was one of 5 kids, that should say it all :).

Not only did I know him as a warrior, but I knew him as a curious learner and one who was very compassionate. He once bought 6 sleeping bags to hand out to homeless people when it was cold outside and he had several other stories. He cried with people and he helped them. Sure, he made mistakes but his last great choice was to receive Jesus as his savior and so God as his Father. As some friends and loved ones reminded me, it was timely that we met him when we did. God used us to touch someone He loves, forever.


Here is a small obituary from the place we both volunteered and a pic:

David Anguiano               

  Sept. 8^th, 1965 - Sept. 12^th, 2014

  David was born in SD. Went to Kearny High 

  and went to “Your Life” College. He volunteered

  for several causes.  One of them was “BA-Peer Adv.”

He is now able to join a person he adored- Paul Walker!

All of his friends will miss his Smile and Love for Life

Jericho Prayer Meetings

Battling the True Enemies

As the Israelites had finally crossed into the land that God had promised, they found out the land was inhabited and that God would have them wage war on the inhabitants to claim their land as the land God had in mind for them from the beginning of time. One of the most interesting things to me in their battles was how they overthrew Jericho, a heavily fortified city filled with inhabitants. Their weapon of warfare were trumpets made from ram’s horns called Shofars. On the seventh day, they walked around the walls of Jericho seven times with the ark in the middle and the people of God leading and following the Ark’s procession. When it was time, the Shofars were blown and a loud shout war cry was given. The walls of the enemy fell down with their demise coming soon after (Joshua 6:1-20) .

We know that we are not trying to slay the people of Hillcrest, as that wouldn’t be God’s heart for them, but rather we want to see the destruction of the principalities around them that keep them from the Truth (Ephesians 6). Our weapon, are our fiery hearts fully in love with Jesus cultivated in the flames of encountering the Living God through worship. So, we gather and we worship the one who has brought us into a living hope. And, we pray and ask for the same mercy and grace to be shown to the LGBT people so that they too may have a Living Hope.

The symbolism between the battle over Jericho and ours is amazing. The Lord was impressing upon Esther the idea of a Shofar and we had almost no idea its importance until Esther followed God’s promptings to understand what this instrument meant.

The Shofar

We have realized that Shofars were used in warfare Joshua , Numbers 10:9. We learned it was used to mark a new year, a new beginning.to declare the year of Jubilee. On Jubilee, property was returned to those who had to sell it. Slaves were freed. Moreover, the shofars were used to start celebrations such as the day of atonement.

For us, came the reality that God wanted us to declare the year of the Lord’s favor (Isaiah 61) and declare His mighty act of becoming sin so that we might become the righteousness of God if we believe upon Him. We realized that God wants to free them of their sins and errors and doesn’t want their death but that they should relent and repent (Ezekiel 18:23, 33:11). We realized that worship would be our weapon against the principalities that do indeed plague this people in Hillcrest. We believe God wants to declare war on the spiritual realm that has created and directed captive’s lives here, to bind up their broken hearts, to declare the hope of freedom for the captive, to set the prisoners free, and to create a new set of righteous oaks from this community  (Isaiah 61: 1).

So, we gather, we worship, we pray, and we even hit the streets.

"The Gift of Welcome" by Esther

We had the amazing opportunity again to host our Hillcrest monthly dinners recently and this time around, one of our regulars brought a new friend. We were so blessed to hear that she’d be bringing a friend. I did my normal preparation of planning the menu, cleaning the house and of course praying over the dinner/night.

I feel that a big part of having a “successful” dinner is offering the gift of welcome. Yes, I did just use that word, welcome as a noun! You see, I had secretly prayed for so long that our home would get this part right. That our home would be used to offer genuine love and a sense of welcome. I had asked God for help many times. I still do.

I desperately long for people in this LGBT community to get the sense of welcome from me and my husband. I pray constantly that they would feel loved by us small people but most of all, loved by Jesus. We have not had a perfect road down this way but this particular night, we felt a big measure of peace and love. I sensed that our friend, Sarah (names have been changed), felt at home that night because she told me several times that she missed us so much, that she missed coming to our dinners, and that she always had a good time. She told me that she needs to come more often. The fact that she even brought her friend along told me that she meant it. I was so elated when she said these words to me as I was carefully trying not to freak out and drop the plate of food!

I became even more elated when she went to the drawer to get another knife out. Wow, she actually knew where my knives were now! Yay! There was not a trace of invasion at all but a sense of pure thankfulness. I thought to myself: wow, Sarah knows my kitchen like I know my kitchen now b/c she’s been here.

Formalities drop when you are family. When you’re family, you no longer have to ask for a piece of bread before dinner starts, you just go to the fridge and get it (true incident that happened). When you’re family, you open up drawers, cupboards, etc without having to politely ask. You just do it b/c you know that the people accept/love you.

The dinner that night reflected the friendship and I think it also reflected how important the gift of welcome is. When someone feels welcomed, he/she feels accepted and valued no matter what history, background, or differences he/she may have. When someone feels welcomed, I believe he/she is brought closer to the Kingdom. And we know that regardless of background, sexual orientation, flaws, and mistakes everyone is completely welcomed into the Kingdom of God. Our God, is the most welcoming friend.

Esther

To God be the Gory, another LGBT-background Man Healed

Only recently did I learn that this man was healed by God. Harrison was no longer working at Being Alive, he had put in his notice and this man was taking over a part of his job. I walked in the door and he called me the healer man or something like that. I was confused and put back because I didn’t really realize what God had done for him.

My mind went back to when I had first met him as I was trying to figure out what God did for him. It was several months prior where I met this man. He had lost his good friend/partner and now he had lost his cat (you should know that animals are definitely people’s family here in Hillcrest). In the midst of all this, his ankle was in a lot of pain because of a severe strain that he had incurred while he was volunteering at Being Alive’s rummage sale. It was a definite low in his life. So, I felt the nudge and took a risk. As I waited on the Lord, I felt like God gave me the words: “I know his name.” I told him that God knew his name and I prayed in the name of Jesus for him and his ankle. He wept but nothing seemed to happen. He was thankful and I thanked him for letting me pray for him and went on my way.

Moving forward to the moment where I encountered him as a man with a functioning ankle who was acknowledging to me that he had help from someone outside of himself. I started to ask questions, half doubting and half excited for God’s touch (i.e. a little faith, a little doubt—seemingly my normal routine). I started to see God really did touch him and even he didn’t doubt that it was something, someone other than his medicine or physical therapist. Something great had to have happened because his foot had slipped into a sprinkler hole, got stuck and ripped one of his tendons (or something) in the process. He was telling me how amazed he was as he was pacing back and forth preparing for the food pantry that Being Alive would host the following week. As he thanked me, I proclaimed to him God’s love for him and that Jesus healed him, but he didn’t seem to be too mindful of that or interested in studying the Bible with me after I tried to invite him to that day. It was no doubt that he was touched by God, in his mind and my mind, the problem for him was that he couldn’t point to any one God because he wasn’t and isn’t very interested in organized religion but bits and pieces of things he likes from all religions.

So, I walked away thinking of the ten healed leper story, where 9/10 of them didn’t come back to thank Jesus but then I went back to meet him another day. I realized there was a potential that God healing him might’ve opened his heart to more spiritual conversations. So the next day, I went back and learned about his lack of a desire to be involved in “organized religion” and that whenever he heard of judgment or condemnation, he would walk away from that teaching. Taking the risk and the opportunity of an open heart, I began to tell him that even God’s judgment is good news and I even tried to tell him why. Surprisingly, he was receptive and didn’t shun me from talking about Jesus more with him and the story of humanity walking away from God, though no clear decision to follow Him was made. I can’t help to think that God planted some sort of seed through me into his heart and the open door was through God’s finger touching his deep need.

Jesus already went to the extreme to demonstrate the love of God to broken and wandering humanity (Romans 5:8), and it is more and more clear to me that God WANTS to show up in miraculous ways in the lives of LGBT people. In fact, He is!

The end is near, “the time is fulfilled, and the Kingdom of God is near. [we are to] repent and believe the good news” (Mark 1:15). How much more is this true around 2000 years after Jesus first stated this? This blog post, in a way, is a call to realize that God wants LGBT people to know Him, to see the nearness of His coming Kingdom as good news. It is true, that there are many LGBT (and straight or greedy or proud people), here in Hillcrest, who should have some fear of the coming Kingdom because sin will be judged by Holy Jesus, the Savior King. At the same time and even more beautiful than judgment of humanity, is the fact that in Jesus, judgment is overcome by mercy and there is an opportunity for a new and beautiful identity. This is the good news that I have found hope in. God is leading our group to declare to LGBT people that there is opportunity for mercy triumphing over judgment and to be given a new identity. Furthermore, stories like this man’s story remind me that He will CONFIRM the good news of the nearness of His Kingdom. He is hungry for this declaration to be made and He gives power in its declaration (Luke 10: 9).

A New child of God: David's Story

                I met David walking the streets of Hillcrest and praying for the neighborhood. We started a small conversation and eventually it led to me praying for his friend who he was visiting in the hospital. He let me and I explained that I had moved to Hillcrest because the Church has done a bad job reaching the LGBT with the message and hope we have. We ended up arranging some time to hang out and share our stories. Thus began my relationship with this guy.

Over the next 6 months we began to hang out more and delve into many aspects of our lives, including spirituality. David started studying the Bible with me, even though he had never read it since his confirmation in his teens and now 48. He came to some of our dinner parties. We played games, ate good food, and laughed. Though, we started a new friendship it often seemed like he was veering away from me. I thought it was because we were pretty upfront about our faith, maybe too upfront at times. Yet, at the same time, it seemed that God was tugging on his heart and I’d like to share one example of this.

In one of those times where David was veering in our friendship, God gave him a dream and showed me He was tying David to me. I hadn’t spoken with him for several weeks at this point when I learned of the dream. It was Saturday and I was on a mission to get a plunger of all things.  Unexpectedly, I ran in to him at the place I volunteer at in Hillcrest. He then told me that he was considering what it would be like to follow Jesus and that he had had some sort of dream that when he woke up from it, he would say, “Patrick!” and throw his hands in the air. I didn’t really know what was going on but I was excited because God was doing things I could never do. Later on I found out that in his dream, I was there. I handed him a book with a picture of a person blind folded and chained. He handed it back to me and I asked him if he had had enough yet. I already knew that this man suffered for many years (30 years with HIV, several rounds of cancer, 12 near deaths according to him, living on the streets) and it has become more clear how much he suffered and how God wanted to give him sight and freedom. We started meeting up again after that and the day came recently where he finally decided to follow Jesus.

One morning, I received a call from David and I found out that he needed a ride to the emergency room to get treated for severe anemia. On the way to the hospital and even before, I had been realizing that David may be near the end of his life and he didn’t know Jesus. Many people had been praying for this guy and for me to be bold in sharing the good news of King Jesus. So, I started talking with him again about what was stopping him from following Jesus. As we rolled up to the loading zone at the hospital, it seemed he gave in and told me “I want what you have.” He wanted Jesus and in tears he started to yield what had been holding him back in his life, his ability to control his own life. I led him through a brief prayer and asked God to seal him as His child. When I asked him earlier he had said that he was afraid about going to the hospital. After we prayed, he said he felt no fear but peace.

Needless to say, many people were rejoicing with the angels that day. David is just starting his journey following Jesus and really neither of us know all that that means. All i know is that we are both headed for Him.

The Kingdom of God is Near

I went to the house of a high potential LGBT background Christian to do the 3^rd study of part 1 of the “Who is Jesus? Study”. He had a really sore back. We prayed, in the name of Jesus and invited the Kingdom of God to come, and it did. It was only after some time of reflection that I realized how significant this moment was, not only the healing but the timing and surrounding circumstances.

It was a few weeks earlier where I was sharing about the vision God gave me to spread His word all over Hillcrest and see what grows and this same guy grabbed on to that vision in a big way. I shared how we wanted to see the “Who is Jesus?” study pop up all over the place just like Jesus described in the Parable of the Sower (Mark 4:1-20). The next week or so after sharing about that parable, he came to our monthly Hillcrest prayer meeting. Esther prayed for him and said she saw a multiplication sign over him. After she prayed, he then told us that earlier that morning he had been praying and asking God to make him the soil that would bear crop a hundred times what was sown. Esther and I were stoked for this man who had such a long journey of surrender to God, and was now in a place of hunger and desire to see his own life used in a huge way.

This potential leader in our effort to reach the lost LGBT was hungry not in word only but in action. Since the time we started to hang with him, he started tithing fully to his church, he started waking up early to pray and be with God, he started attending all we were doing, and he even was confessing his desire for Jesus above all other lovers. As you can see, he was and is going after God and this is the posture wherein God met him in an other worldly, Kingdom way.

So, then came the night of his healing, the night he and I both experienced the reality of the nearness of the Kingdom of God. This particular night, the night of our Bible Study his back was extremely sore from moving people’s stuff and also from awkwardly twisting it at work. He was so sore that he didn’t even want to join me to study at the coffee table for the fear of pain and not being able to get back up from the ground. With very weak faith, I suggested we should pray and he agreed. So we prayed and he believed God, even testing it and moving to the floor where he was once worried he wouldn’t have been able to get up. Throughout the short prayer, the words that kept coming up to me were: the kingdom of God is near. I kept repeating that to him. He not only sat on the floor, but got up with less pain and the next day he told me his back was feeling great.

This first message of Jesus as recorded in the Gospels (Mark 1:15) became more real to us than it had perhaps ever been. In this place I realized what God might be doing. I saw that God was preparing these guys to see the evidence of what they may one day be sharing in Hillcrest: the Kingdom is near. I was and am super encouraged by the faithfulness of God. He is meeting us here in Hillcrest and though we haven’t seen huge and rumbling revival on a broad scale, we are starting to see the first fruits; namely, a small group of people with encouraged and hungry hearts. Hearts, that are realizing the Kingdom of God is near, Jesus is near and His reign and rule is accessible to us today, just as it was for the 72 when Jesus told them then to “Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you.’” (Luke 10:9)

Yet, the Kingdom only becomes good news for the select few who realize the character of the One enthroned, what He stands for, what He has done, and what is their destiny. If you think of us, remember the name of the blog and pray that His name would be lifted high in Hillcrest and His Kingdom would come. Your prayers are a huge part in why we are seeing the Kingdom a new.